Ostentatious display of wealth in most crass and tasteless manner aside, I am shocked by the complete Bollywoodization of contemporary Hindu marriages. Right from the attires of prominent attendees to serving of food, choice of background music, absence of Vedic dhwanis and mantraochchar from the ambience, total disappearance of traditional musical instruments like jal-tarang, shehnai, dholak or tabla, to grand entries of the couple, Sanatan Pani-grahan Samaroh have transmogrified into fairytale Christian weddings.
In mofussil towns especially, tackiness around events like pre-wedding, bridal entry, groom’s entry, stage management, ‘ladies sangeet’ etc have reached farcical levels, both in terms of expenses and the resultant show-off. Gone is the innocence of the coy bride, the groom and his buddies do not make small talk for fear of being recorded on camera and be taunted for life. Everyone seems fixated by wedding choreography, and how do they come across in reels and pictures. The pandit is no longer sought-after, the key person in the ceremony is the photographer. The problem with the whole set-up is the absence of a director, who can run the show properly. In the absence of one, the photographer and the lead actors occupy disproportionately large space and spoil the show with their indulgence.
The worst thing about these ridiculous events and extended celebrations is that the would-be couple, who used to spend months aiming (at least fretting over) to get fitter to look better in photographs and videos have lost sight of that million dollar aim. Buying into their own hype, bride and groom assume that they already resemble Siddharth Malhotra and Kiara Advani, and make-up, razzmatazz, camera angles and proper editing would lend them the required glow to pass off as deities. Unfortunately this is not how it turns out. Bright lights and better cameras end up enhancing ugliness, lack of fitness and sleeplessness, so much so that these shows get reduced to some kinds of burlesque. Have you ever wondered why nobody is later interested in watching wedding videos of others as well as their own? Which is also why, pre- wedding shoots are telecast during marriage functions to force-feed marriage attendees into consuming the couple’s pre-consummation intimacy.
The traditional Hindu feel has gone out of marriages primarily because of the standardization of white and pink gowns as the ideal bridal dress. The Ambani bride mercifully spared us on this count. Deep embedded desires of Hindu Papa ki Paris (Dad’s fairies) to resemble princesses or more appropriately, Christian brides, have resulted in banishment of ochre, green and saffron hues from their couture. Grooms, who earlier used to wear coloured shervanis, or smart three-piece suits, or bright dhoti-kurtas are now condemned to wear white or light coloured dresses that match with their partners’.
The sight of a celebrity is the most prized. Live singing, even ghazals and light Bollywood hindi songs, has gone out of fashion. What is in demand is any goddamned goggled celeb hopping up the stage, shaking his legs to electronic beats while lip-syncing to pre-recorded Punjabi lyrics which obviously non-Punjabis do not understand at all, but feel obliged to dance to. Another big nuisance associated with celeb weddings and pre-weddings is that their PR teams inundate social media space with their reels and force the content down the throats of uninterested users as well. This has become a major menace. I do not like the sight of Three Khans gyrating together, or SRK repeatedly referring to Mukesh bhai as Pappu only to insinuate about his close relationship with the family. I have zilch interest in Anant’s hobbies or how he stumbled upon his Cinderella of a fiancé, but since this is prized content, it shall pollute my life for sure. This is why I find it difficult to forgive the Ambanis- For mainstreaming such crass pre-wedding ceremonies, for throwing money to buy celebs like money does not matter, for promoting celeb worship in society, for turning rituals into launch vehicles for scions, and for inflicting bad taste upon Hindu society in general with single-mindedness of purpose. You can’t heave a sigh of relief either that it is over. This was just the pre-wedding trailer, the wedding racket is yet to begin!
#prewedding #wedding #ambanis #ananth #marriage #hindu #garish #ostentatious #tacky #crass #showoff #threekhans #dehinduization
Abhinav Pancholi 