Liz Truss, who might not outlast a lettuce, has let Akwasi Addo Alfred Kwarteng take the fall after the two of them had made Britain the laughing stocks across the world with their mini-Budget. Although the name carries the aura and grace befitting the high office of the Chancellor of the Exchequer and the Second Lord of the Treasury in His Majesty’s Government, in the end it proved too foreign and tongue-twisting to pronounce. What cannot be spoken as easily as Liz or Dicky proves too cumbersome for the Brits. The English are very fine with Kwasi’s Ghanese origins, for they are anything but racists, yet he had to be made redundant if the Prime Minister was to live for another day.
Coleridge would have dubbed the leader of the realm not a lettuce, rather an albatross which the Tories have hung around the Kingdom’s neck. The party cannot get rid of her for eleven more months and the country is saddled with the Tories for they won’t call snap polls. So we have another Boris at our hands, with Maggy-like pretensions of greatness. But the HMIS British Economy is not stuck in doldrums, the Equatorial Belts of Calm, rather is facing immense polar winds of exemplary mismanagement. Throwing horses or ministers in the sea won’t help the ship tide over the storm. They need a skilled captain, some luck, and lots of common sense to get back on track.
At a time when not just Britain, rather the whole world is grappling with high inflation, the Liz-Kwasi duo began with offering tax cuts to the highest paying bracket of 45 percent. Not once to mince empty high-sounding words, they touted these measures as quite necessary to kick-start the sleepy enterprise into action. This after coming to power promising tax cuts for the lowest income groups and corporate. Predictably, all hell broke loose. The IMF labelled these cuts as ‘unfunded’. The tag stuck. The markets panicked. Bond yields turned positive. Borrowing became costlier. Pound fell freely against the already strong Dollar. Importers are bleeding. UK pension funds are receiving margin calls, and are now forced to sell assets to meet those calls. The Bank of England, which was busy hiking rates to meet inflation when the cuts were announced, had to resort to purchasing ten-year bonds to stem general panic. This hell-scale pandemonium required ritual sacrifice to appease the markets.
The head of Lord Corlys, the Sea Snake, Lord of the Tides, Master of Driftmark, and the head of the House Velaryon, has been offered. Proposed cuts have been withdrawn. Now Lettuce might survive the winter, but Mr. Bean in Washington, the Night King in Moscow and the Dragon in Zhongnanhai would not let Britain hibernate with abandon. The jilted Indian, and the messy-headed, deposed ambition shall keep plotting and put up the pressure.
I won’t be too surprised if Britons end up with porridge on their faces, deep holes in their pockets, and an Indian-origin Prime Minister. European Union must be relieved that the Kingdom is no longer their problem.
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