The newest couple has broken the internet by coming out of the closet. The news and the pictures are too hot to handle. The hustler seems happy, the princess looks enamoured. Uncles are shocked, aunties are worried. For their husbands, of course, more than the damsel. They know she would somehow manage, she always does. Uncles are reacting as if they have missed out on some Grand Prize. Aunties are secretly chuckling over this pretentious fretting. Bum paychecks! Can’t walk straight after a glass of wine, yet opining wistfully upon a power match!

Boys are hurt, girls are inspired. Boys have no reason to. She is almost the MILF level, and too classy to humour plebians in any case. Girls have a worthy role model- chase freedom, settle for the one being chased. Haven’t they always said that sleeping with a criminal is more desirable than waiting for a saint. Hooking up with a business scion must be fulfilling. Being together with a cricket administrator must give creeps. Loving an absconder must be oh so thrilling. He is the quintessential Clyde, all right, but she does she have a Bonnie in her? He checks all boxes. What is Cinderella doing with him? 

You just can’t escape the chatter. She is huge. He is bigger and bad news. ‘Why’ is the obvious question, born out of disgust. ‘How’ is for connoisseurs, and arises out of curiosity. The googly of the year, ladies and gentlemen- SushLaMo.

Don’t rush into making judgements. All love is con, after all. Look at your own miserable matches, and the compromises involved in keeping them afloat. Buying and selling and betting and fixing must come naturally to him. She is an artist, faking should he her thing.  The ultimate deception can’t involve worthier players. Together they have decided that a show must be put on.

Is this just a game, a delusion, a make-believe? What is the Commissioner up to? What is the Miss Universe thinking?

Heist of the year?

Marriage of the decade?

A box office blockbuster?

A cricket league to rival the IPL?

Or just a practical joke that people only of the caliber of Elon Musk and Donald Trump should play?

PS- 1. Spare a thought for Mr. Sweat Equity who must be feeling left out. Every woman is a potential selfie, which is a potential tweet. The tweet shall still come, possibly when he runs into her or them next time. He is that predictable.

2. This is not the biggest practical hoax of the year. Elon Musk has already taken Twitter to the cleaners. Then happened Maharashtra. The match must be the third in the list.

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#hoax #heist #breaktheinternet