Spare us your Wordle Scores

Know that you are a Wordle salesman at the very least if you have the knack for dumping your coloured cubes on social media. I should be harsher in my assessment of the trolls who interrupt my feed every day with their juvenile nonsense masquerading as intellectual masturbation. Football fans have a similar fascination with red and yellow rectangles, but they do not pass off their fixations as some kind of a learning revolution.

Know that you like to gloat about your deftness. It is simply not possible for you to score a minor point and move on without broadcasting your success, thanking your well-wishers for support and invoking the Supreme Power. Heavens help if you have to make an Oscar acceptance speech someday! You might do with a dose of humility in your life. Perhaps the lack of it is already ruining some lives. Ask your wife, and subordinates at work for better feedback.

In the absence of any major new achievement, you have become too hungry or eager for minor successes to parade before the world. You are ready to compromise with life by giving up grander ambitions, and settling for peas and pomegranates.

You like to advertise your sincerity. Like that rooster who gets up at four and wakes up the whole wide world by crowing as if there is going to be no tomorrow. Some of you even try to set the pace of the Wordling world by altering your time zones to gain early access to the daily new offerings. You should have been an adventurer, an entrepreneur, or an inventor, maybe sailed in search of new worlds, but you are rotting in your sedentary jobs and mundane lives.

You like to challenge and goad people into action. You should be leading mass movements. Gandhi could have excelled in crosswords, but chose the path of action when he stood at crossroads. He also preferred enema whenever he felt the need to relieve himself of the sticky excreta.

You are an idler and a spammer, without any conscience left inside you. You have no compunctions in dumping your junk on virtual roads and arteries.

You are a creature of habit because you shared your scores once, and are now addicted to it. You just don’t know how to desist from doing this.

You are delusional since you think that these scores are anyone else’s concern in the world, but yours. Exaggerated importance of self is a condition which calls for immediate help. Sharing worldes might even be a mode of SOS, a desperate call for help. It is not better than sharing pictures of one’s underwear, showering unrequited love, forwarding links of political analyses and flooding the feed with your picnic snaps. It is almost as pathetic as pasting your own (good) report card on the society notice board, or hanging a dead dog on your neighbour’s ramparts to showcase how fickle life is.

You are all these, if you share your Worlde scores.

But if you share Nerdle scores to supplement your Worldes, you are a pest.

And if you happen to share Quordle, Lewdle, Absurdle, Lordle of the Rings, you are……what do I say, I have run of adjectives, like the makers of these games ran out of innovative names. For want of more effort on my part, you’re a Quordler, Lewdler, Absurdler and Lordler of the Ring, in that case.

Lastly, think about the ill-effects of your Wordle sharing on climate change and race relations.